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| Adorn Me: The Fetish Wardrobe: Developing A Fetish Wardrobe On A Budget |
| By Sensuous Sadie |
My friend Cameron is a thoughtful and thinking Dominant, but ever since I've knowing him he's shown up at scene events in the standard black suit, pepped up with a string tie. Did he look good? Sure he did. Did he look fetish? Not in the slightest. A few months ago I commented to him that I thought it was about time he started dressing with a little more liveliness. The next month he showed up in a beautiful leather suit. Soft as butter and tailored to fit. His outfit was perfect for him; it fit his understated style, but still expressed his orientation. He has also had the foresight to buy a suit which while surely expensive, was simple enough to wear to non-fetish events. He told me that he made the change so that he would no longer look like a "shlub" (his word not mine). He may never have really looked like a shlub. Heck I've seen guests in ripped t-shirts sashay into parties, but there's no question that in this suit, Cameron glowed.
Cameron had the money and good taste to invest in one really killer outfit, but many of us are on a budget. This section will look at some of the ways to build a fetish wardrobe without breaking your fetish fund. Many of these ideas will also work well for building a wardrobe for any purpose, but the idea here is to transition the clothes you already have into a working fetish wardrobe.
What makes a wardrobe a "fetish" wardrobe? Fetish wear transcends the ordinary. It is clothing you can't wear to work and probably don't want to wear to Wal-Mart. It is sexy, stylish and uses unusual fabrics. It celebrates the body, reveals, and invites fantasy. Styles are more dressy, shorter and longer skirts, jackets with tails, silver ties, and peekaboo bras. Fabrics center on leather, PVC, and plastic, with a preponderance of black of course, and other bright colors such as red and fuchsia.
When planning a fetish wardrobe, you will want to decide in advance what general style you want to follow, otherwise you will end up with a closet full of clothing which doesn't match, not to mention a thinner wallet for the effort. With a little bit of planning, you can develop a number of outfits which will maximize the items you have without spending a fortune. If you feel that you are fashion challenged, ask a well dressed friend to assist you in choosing a wardrobe. Most of us who love clothing also love to share our passion.
What Are The General Styles?
There are four general styles of scene wear. The first style is sexy/revealing clothing which advertises your physical charms: clingy tops, butt-hugging chaps, and see-though skirts. This is the style I choose, focusing on my breasts of which I have one hell of a set, and my legs, which are fabulous if I do say so myself. I wear low-cut and see-through blouses, short skirts, and stockings and garter belts in sexy colors. When I dressed my submissive Phil, I put him in a black net tank top to emphasize his muscular shoulders, and silvery luminescent shorts to advertise his great tush.
The second style is the stylized look: beaded vests, fetish themed ties, leather chaps, string ties, tuxes with tails, corsets and so on. As little as one item of interesting fashion appeal can make the difference between shlubdom and fashion plate of the party. For example, one person I know has a collection of string tie clasps with detailed ornamentation in jade and other semi-precious stones. While the rest of his outfits might be unremarkable, he is memorable, and remembered for this one unusual item.
The third style is role playing oriented clothing, which might be anything from the classic French maid to gothic to the "little schoolgirl" or 1940's Humphrey Bogart style. My friend Colby dresses in this classic Bogart style: double breasted pin striped suits, matching fedoras and an attitude to match. Another friend, Kayla, dresses in a variety of 1940's style outfits with full length evening gloves and heirloom hats with netting over the eyes. These types of styles not only create an indelible impression, but also indicate an interest in the role-playing aspects of the BDSM lifestyle.
The last style is the classic Dominant or submissive styles. Dominants may choose clothing that expresses strength, power and control. This may include sexually tantalizing outfits, high-heeled "fuck me" pumps, and sometimes floggers or whips hanging off the belt. Fabrics lean toward the brighter colors and more exotic fabrics. Submissives will wear clothes which emphasize their vulnerability and willingness to please. Colors tend to be more pastel, and fabrics less aggressive. I always require my submissives to wear body-revealing clothing which allows me free access to any part of their body.
How Do I Start Building A Wardrobe?
Once you've decided on a style, you will want to do an inventory of your closet. You may be surprised at how many items you already have which can be converted into fetish wear. For women: search your closet for evening gowns, short skirts, full length skirts, low cut blouses, high heels, boots, and hats. Be sure to check your lingerie collection, as items like teddies and bustiers can be easily converted to fetish wear. For men: look for unusual pants, dressy shirts in black or bright colors, striking ties, and black suits.
You may have items which can be tailored into something more interesting. For example, a skirt you haven't worn for years can be shortened to an obscene length with some sexy flourishes on the bottom. Far less expensive than a new skirt, and very little effort and cost. Other basic wardrobe items can be made special by adding one or two unusual accessories. For example, a plain black pair of pants will derive new meaning when paired with a gold chain belt.
Once you know what you have, you can start buying or trading for what you don't have. Most people start with a basic wardrobe in a base color like black, then use a variety of special clothing items or accessories to add spice to their look. Be sure to focus on mix and match type clothing because they are more cost effective.
You do get what you pay for, especially in fetish wear, so try to buy a few quality items which can be used in a variety of ways, rather than one exotic and fabulous piece which can only be worn once a year. You'll want to avoid purchasing items like evening gowns or suits which only match one thing, themselves. They may be fabulous in every way, but if you can only wear them once in a while then they are not good investments.
In addition to choosing one general style, you will also want to take a good look at your body. What are your best attributes? Every person has some beautiful and sexy attributes, whether it be broad shoulders, green eyes, or a shapely and spankable tush. Choose clothing which accentuates the parts of your body that you love the most. If you're feeling self conscious, dressing yourself with love and appreciation will improve your confidence and self esteem.
I decided early on to create a sexy, but classy style for myself. My focus was on short skirts and low cut tops. I found my wardrobe already had a number of these items, so I had a good start. Along the way I bought a few basic skirts and had them shortened to a length far shorter than I'd ever wear out in daily life. I also invested in a variety of colored garter belts and stockings. These are an inexpensive sexy accountrement that makes the most of my legs. While I love the way colored wigs look, I hate wearing wigs and hats. Instead, I invested in spray hair paints in various colors as well as gold and silver sparkles.
As I shop for regular day-to-day clothing, I keep an eye out for unusual pieces which I can incorporate into my fetish wardrobe. Consignment shops are a great resource for inexpensive and unusual pieces. I also shop regularly on Ebay.com, which is a great place to get items which may not be available locally. I picked up some fabulous gold boots on Ebay, as well as a collar with one inch spikes and chains hanging down into my cleavage. In generally I'd advise that you avoid clothing from Ebay because you never know how something will fit, and items aren't returnable. Collars, jewelry and shoes are very standardized and are generally a safe buy. Another way I get new clothing items is by exchanging with my friends. I've even hosted clothing swap parties where we brought nearly-new items to exchange. After you've got a few outfits together, be sure to pick up a trench coat to cover them all so you can go to any party without alerting the neighbors.
If you have a little money, you will find many options on the Internet for fetish clothing. You need not spend a lot if you are willing to shop around a little. When shopping for corsets, I found basic ones as cheap as $50 and custom made corsets made for as much as $900. If you are buying a corset for its fashion appeal, then a $50 one will be fine. But if you are committed to the use of corsetry as part of your D/s relationship and for waist reduction, you will want to invest in a high end piece.
Creativity is one of the best ways to morph regular clothing into something special. Use items from around the house to give your outfit some zip. Try making a rope dress, or adding clothespins, safety pins or nipple clamps to your shirt or jacket. Use a chained set of nipple clamps to hold your jacket together rather than buttoning it. Hook your nicest flogger or crop to your belt. Just use your imagination.
I'd like to add one personal note here. There is a school of BDSM thought which focuses on the waist reduction aspect of corsetry. Players wear the corsets full time, as well as a nighttime corset. Over time, the organs around the waist area are slowly pushed upward or downward which results in a smaller waist. From what I've read, this in itself is not actually physically dangerous as long as it's done properly. However, any clothing item which prevents deep breathing, not to mention exercising in any way, cannot by definition be good for the body or soul. Being able to breath deeply and fully is the foundation of a healthy body, and so I strongly recommend against any sort of long-term wearing of corsets.
It's true enough that dressing up isn't for everyone. On the other hand, where else can I dress like this but at a BDSM party? Why not take advantage of the opportunity to express your creative side and dress for success.
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Sensuous Sadie is a BDSM columnist and edits SCENEsubmissions, a free e-newsletter for the New England area and beyond. She is the founder and leader (1999 - 2001) of Rose & Thorn, Vermont's first BDSM group. Comments, compliments and complaints, as well as requests for reprinting can be addressed to her at SensuousSadie@aol.com or visit her website at www.sensuoussadie.com. Sadie believes the universe is abundant, and that sharing information freely is part of this abundance, so she allows reprints of her writing in most venues.
Copyright 2002.
Other items by Sensuous Sadie:
Articles: He Looks like a Dom and Quacks like a Dom, but is he really a Dom?
Articles: SCENEprofiles INTERVIEW WITH SIR VICTOR of DSF
Articles: “Don’t Scare the Villagers”
Articles: Adorn Me: The Fetish Wardrobe: Why Should I Dress Up?
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